When we take care of ourselves and our emotions, we’re better equipped to show tolerance to those around us. Skills we can learn through therapy make a difference in our own lives and increase our capacity to show kindness and openness to others. Let’s explore why therapy can be transformative in building our acceptance and empathy muscles. 

What is “Tolerance”?

Tolerance is a person’s ability to accept, respect and appreciate differences in culture, beliefs, opinions or background. 

While “tolerance” once simply meant enduring or allowing differences, the word has evolved to mean much more. True tolerance is about far more than simply putting up with others. It’s about embracing each other, practicing empathy and seeking to understand perspectives beyond our own.

November 16 is the International Day of Tolerance, a day of encouraging connection and celebrating unique perspectives. As we commemorate the day, we’ve dived into how therapy can help cultivate a culture of tolerance.

 

The Link Between Therapy and Tolerance

Therapy can help empower participants towards compassion and empathy, which inherently strengthens our capacity for tolerance. Here are a few ways that therapy can help improve tolerance, starting at an individual level:

Therapy Aids Emotional Regulation

Before we can take on the emotions and perspectives of others, we have to learn to cope with our own emotions. Therapy can help individuals learn how to regulate their own emotions well — which has a positive ripple effect. When we manage our own emotions well, we can reduce our stress and anxiety, which paves the way for open-mindedness and being receptive to others’ perspectives. That’s what tolerance is all about. 

Therapy Encourages Empathy and Compassion

Reflecting on experiences — and considering how our own actions impact others — can help us to be more compassionate in the future. Empathy and compassion are essential to tolerance because these instincts enable us to view those around us as individuals with their own feelings, rather than just seeing them as a label.

Get in Touch with Your Beliefs and Values Through Therapy 

A common goal in therapy is to dig into the roots of our assumptions and beliefs, helping us figure out what ideas were not our own original thoughts. This unpacking of preconceived ideas helps individuals to realize when they were operating on instinct, slow down and figure out what they really believe. And that’s where the problem-solving skillsets get stronger!

KVC Nebraska’s Therapy Approach

At KVC Nebraska, we offer trauma-informed, research-backed and personalized therapy services rooted in evidence-based practices. These services can help empower tolerance by helping children and youth face the trauma in their past and understand how it may be influencing their assumptions about others. In addition to individual therapy, we offer group therapy services that can help youth see the world through different perspectives and understand that they’re not alone. Learn more about our outpatient therapy services here.

How Families Can Encourage Tolerance at Home

Tolerance begins at home. Children and teens often gain their initial assumptions about the world from parents and caregivers, so it’s a golden opportunity to lay the foundation for acceptance and loving behavior toward others! Here are some things you can do to encourage tolerance:

Use People-First Language

At KVC Nebraska, we prioritize using “people-first” language that reminds us people are not defined by their disability or mental health disorder. Here are a few examples of people-first language:

• “Person with a disability,” not “disabled person.”
• “Children in foster care,” not “foster children.”
• “Person without a disability,” not “normal” or “healthy person”
• “Accessible bathroom/parking,” not “handicapped bathroom/parking”
• “Person with an intellectual, cognitive or developmental disability,” not “retarded”

Celebrate Unique Perspectives

The ways we are different should be celebrated, not divisive. Dr. Abyssinia “Dr. Aby” Washington Tabron, KVC Health System’s Vice President of Clinical Engagement, defines diversity as “all the ways that we’re similar and different.” This can be race, sexual orientation, gender identity, ethnicity, socioeconomic background and many other backgrounds and experiences. By celebrating and learning more about all the ways people are unique, you help create a more tolerant and welcoming environment that asks questions and seeks to understand rather than making assumptions or generalizations.

Ask Thoughtful Questions

You don’t have to know everything to be tolerant and thoughtful. You just have to be willing to ask questions with a goal of understanding! Conversations can be your tolerance superpower. If you encounter someone with a disability you don’t know much about or aren’t sure how being part of a minority race may be impacting someone’s life, ask polite and empathetic questions. Demonstrating this desire to learn and understand will help your children learn to ask rather than assume.

Educate Your Family

Look for opportunities to educate yourself and your household on tolerance. There are always many resources and opportunities to learn more about other cultures and backgrounds, and we highly encourage you to pursue those with your children. Here are some KVC Nebraska resources to get you started:

• How to Support LGBTQIA+ Teens in Foster Care
• Textured Hair Care Guide
• Supporting Individuals with Disabilities Through Inclusive Communication
• Supporting Black Children in Foster Care

Taking the First Step Toward Building Bridges

Building bridges requires having the right materials. At KVC Nebraska, we offer compassionate and trauma-informed outpatient therapy services to children and adults of all backgrounds and experiences. To make a referral, please contact KVC at 402-880-4926 or email at NEClinicalandPreventionReferrals@kvc.org.

If you’re looking for a resource to help improve mental health in your household, get our free Mental Health Tips Guide and start building stronger connections.