November is National Adoption Month, a time to celebrate the incredible families, like the Fedoris family, who have grown through adoption! Joan and Andy Fedoris’s adoption journey has been full of unexpected surprises, but the blessings far outweigh the challenges. From biological to adopted, explore how the Fedoris family went from two biological children to a family of eight!

From Early Parenthood to Adoption: How It All Began

Becoming Kinship Caregivers

What followed were several heartbreaking miscarriages. After their tenth miscarriage, Joan happened to be speaking to a friend from church. In their conversation, the friend mentioned her niece was pregnant and looking to place the baby for adoption. Surprised but eager to learn more, the conversation continued, and Joan and Andy met the biological mother. 

The biological mother expressed that she didn’t feel equipped to raise another baby. But her connection to the Fedoris family was instant, and she asked if they would consider an open adoption. They agreed, and from Andy cutting the cord in the delivery room to today, they have maintained contact with the biological mother of their third child, Isabella.

Five years later, Isabella’s mother was pregnant again. She wanted to give the baby to Joan and Andy, but she was afraid they would say no because they had talked about feeling like their family was complete. She asked her social worker to reach out three months before the baby was due, and Joan and Andy agreed and welcomed Nick into their family. The Fedoris family now had four children ranging from newborn to fifteen years old. But their adoption journey was far from over.

By the time Isabella was in fourth grade, Joan was working as a fourth-grade teacher and had Isabella in her class. One night, Joan received a call informing her that the mother of one of her students could no longer care for her child due to an unforeseen situation. The fourth grader, Maddy, and her three-year-old brother, Gage, were going to stay with their grandpa.

The next morning at school, Joan talked to Maddy, making sure her student knew she was happy to help with anything Maddy and Gage needed. “I was really thinking along the lines of school supplies or homework help,” Joan recalls with a smile. But Maddy trusted Joan and took the kind offer to heart, calling upon Joan when she needed her most.

The very next night, Joan got a call from DHHS (Department of Health and Human Services). Maddy’s grandpa was unable to take custody of the children. When the social worker asked Maddy for contacts, she instantly thought of Joan’s offer to help.

Joan was worried when they got the phone call. At the time, Joan and Andy weren’t licensed foster parents and weren’t sure they were eligible to care for Maddy and Gage. But DHHS sprang into action, quickly setting things up with the Fedoris family as a kinship placement. KVC also stepped in, offering support and resources to help the family navigate the complexities of the situation. With their assistance, the Fedoris family was able to provide the stability and care the children needed during this difficult time. Maddy and Gage joined the Fedoris family, and the siblings stayed with them for the rest of the school year. That summer, Maddy went to live out of state with her biological father. Since Gage had a different biological father, he stayed with the Fedorises under a guardianship arrangement through second grade.

At that point, the unexpected occurred. Joan and Andy took Gage to court for what they expected to be a routine check-in as he completed second grade. The judge ruled that Gage could return to his biological mother, who was married to his stepdad and had another child. For the next seven months, Joan and Andy tried to keep in touch with Gage and support him and his family however they could. Gage’s mother gave birth to two more children, and the state was unaware of how difficult the situation had become in Gage’s household.

Foraying into Foster Care

During the height of the Pandemic, Joan and Andy found themselves spending more time at home. With the additional flexibility, the time was right for them to open their home to children in foster care. After caring for a reunified teen, Joan and Andy were asked to care for two toddlers less than a year apart. Joan and Andy agreed.

After a while, the three siblings went up for adoption. “We kept saying we didn’t think it was fair for them if we adopted them because we were in our 50s then, and worried we were too old to really parent them,” recalls Joan. 

Yet DHHS and KVC continued to encourage them to reconsider, understanding that their stable home and the opportunity to keep the siblings together would lead to the best long-term outcome for the children. Again, Joan and Andy said yes. With these new family members, Joan and Andy were then parents of eight — with 28 years between them! — ranging in age from 32 to 4 years old!

The Fedoris Family: Where Are They Now

This beautiful blended family includes more than just those living in the Fedoris household. Their twins, now in their 30s, have children the same age as Joan and Andy’s youngest three. Joan never imagined hosting playdates with both her children and grandchildren, but it’s been the surprise of a lifetime.

“It’s hard to put into words the ripple effect of goodness that has come from these kids,” Joan says of their large extended family. The Fedoris crew extends through each of their adopted children, including children like Maddy who was able to be safely reunified with biological family. “It’s so enriching to our lives and all our extended family and their extended family,” she says.

Maddy recently got married, and her wedding ceremony featured several members of the Fedoris family in the celebration. Andy drove Maddy down the aisle in her late grandfather’s Cadillac, honoring the lasting impact both men had on her. Her biological father walked her down the aisle. Joan says they consider Maddy their unofficial ninth child because they are still so close!

The Fedoris family faces difficulties, from brokenness in families to life’s sorrows, yet they remain united and resilient. At 16, Gage battles cancer and often spends days in the hospital. Despite his struggles, Gage continues to amaze Joan with his kindness and resilience.

Gage’s selflessness shone through when he chose a Make-a-Wish experience that the whole family could enjoy together. Despite having every reason to be a negative, “chip on his shoulder” youth, Joan says Gage’s heart is all “love and forgiveness.” 

Why the Fedoris Family is Passionate About Adoption

Joan is used to people praising their adoption story and calling them “good people.” But she insists that is not the case. “We kept saying no!” says Joan, recalling their understandable hesitation before placements. “But God, KVC and DHHS were nudging us where we needed to be. We haven’t done a lot to seek it out so much as these kids just kind of found us.” Joan is grateful for the love and joy of being a mom to many unique children, shaping their family.

To those who are considering adoption, Joan has a word of encouragement. “There are so many children and teens who need families, and families in this day and age look all sorts of ways,” she says.

“Families can be composed of all sorts of backgrounds and ages and different abilities. Kids don’t care. They just want a family and parents who love them and can meet them where they’re at. If you think you have that in you, please consider adoption because there are so many kids waiting for families, waiting for someone to love them and accept them and help them thrive.”

Give a Child Their Forever Family

KVC Nebraska offers children in need of loving homes—whether through adoption or foster care. Get involved today and make a difference in a child’s life! In Joan’s words, “We have far too many kids just waiting for their forever family.” Looking to adopt? Contact KVC Nebraska to learn how you can become a forever family, whether it’s your first or not.